anti-social tendencies

admiring beauty from afar. hiding, lurking in my shadows. accuse me of coyness and cowardice, i beg to differ though. its not fear that motivates my behaviour. reality is what influences and moves me. deception is intoxicating stuff you know? better than smoking and drinking. i'd rather lie to myself than be disappointed when i do chose to immerse myself and indulge in anything remotely beautiful. i prefer to admire perfection from afar rather than see the flaws in the architecture of beauty. disappointment and melancholy always seems to be the end result whenever i'm in the presence of something beautiful however ironic it may seem. happiness and satisfaction is a myth. maybe my standards are too high. maybe perfection doesn't exist after all. maybe.